I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
