new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
