Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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