Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize