Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
