I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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