I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
