a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
