I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
