giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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