Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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