It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
