just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
