he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I love you.
Bad choice
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
