you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
