I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
