so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
