Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
