i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
