How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
