i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
