Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
