Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
