I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I CAN MOONWALK!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
