they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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