Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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