I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
