You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
