very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He has the fingertips of a God
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