i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
