Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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