If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
