After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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