he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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