Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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