You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I checked into jail on foursquare
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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