i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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