Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
