I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
