I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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