Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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