i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize