I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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