you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
