I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
