he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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