i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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