gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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