I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize