I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
