Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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