why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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