I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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