drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she looked like the before picture.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We need a shit load of segways right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
