I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
how drunk are you?
Several
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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