Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
