So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
