Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
