I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
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