that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
