I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The Olympian is in my bed
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
