the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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