They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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