Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dicks are not precious.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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