i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize