My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
